A Very Brooklyn Passover Haggadah
for an Atlantic Yardseder
Through the ages, the Jewish ceremony of Passover has been adapted to all sorts of social and economic situations. This year, the Children of Brooklyn celebrate their hope for a miraculous deliverance from real estate developer bondage with the songs and prayers below.
If you would like to add something
to the Atlantic Yardseder -- perhaps you've come up with a variation on the
Ten Plagues, a re-invention of the Four Sons, or a blessing over the Blueprints
of Affliction, send your contribution to: passover(at)leathertomato.com.
Here is a nice PDF to download, print and hand out
at your Atlantic Yardseder.
The Four Questions
(About Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards Project)
To be sung by the youngest real estate developer at the seder
Why is the Atlantic Yards project different from all other real estate development
projects?
Question 1:
Why is it that Brownstone Brooklyn consists of unleavened low-rise buildings,
but at Atlantic Yards Bruce Ratner wants to build seventeen high-rise buildings?
Question 2:
Why is it that in all other projects the community would be happy for a real
estate developer to bring them "jobs, housing and hoops," but in this project
the community is so extraordinarily bitter?
Question 3:
Why is it that in all other projects, the developer dips only into his own budget,
but in the Atlantic Yards project the developer dips twice - $100 million from
the state's budget and $100 million from the city's budget?
Question 4:
Why is it that in all other projects, the buildings stand straight, but in Frank
Gehry's designs for the Atlantic Yards project, the buildings recline to one
side?
Dayeinu!
(It would have been enough!)
Hebrew:![]() |
Transliteration:
Ilu hotsi, hotsianu, Ilu hotsi, hotsianu, Ilu natan, natan lanu, |
English translation:
Dayeinu! It would have been enough!
Dayeinu! It would have been enough!
Dayeinu! It would have been enough!
Dayeinu! It would have been more than enough!
Dayeinu! That would have been so much more
than we ever expected. Really, it’s enough already.
Dayeinu! That would have been so exceedingly
generous we’d have said, “No, Bruce, we can not accept it. Enough!”
Dayeinu! That would have been so far beyond
any amount of generosity we ever could have imagined, we would have thanked
Bruce profusely but insisted that it was way more than enough already for Chrissake,
errr…that is, for Moses-sake.
How plentiful are the reasons for our gratitude to Bruce Ratner for
the many favors bestowed upon Brooklyn! Bruce brought us out of Manhattan, divided
the East River for us, permitted us to cross in our motor vehicles (For free!
No congestion charges.), brought pro sports back after more than 40 years in
the wilderness, fed us with Chuck E. Cheese, Red Lobster and McDonald’s, led
us to the Land of Frank Gehry, built 17 skyscrapers and a 19,000-seat arena
for us, and made Brooklynites a holy people under the Kingdom of Marty Markowitz,
in truth and righteousness.
One Little Condo
(To the tune of "One Little Goat")
One little condo, One little condo
I renovated for 200 zuzim
One little condo, One little condo
I renovated for 200 zuzim
One little condo, One little condo
To take the condo
I renovated for 200 zuzim
One little condo, One little condo
Then came Mayor Bloomberg who empowered Marty
Who enabled Jim Stuckey
To take the condo
I renovated for 200 zuzim
One little condo, One little condo
Who empowered Marty
Who enabled Jim Stuckey
To take the condo
I renovated for 200 zuzim
One little condo, One little condo
Who kissed Mayor Bloomberg
Who empowered Marty
Who enabled Jim Stuckey
To take the condo
I renovated for 200 zuzim
One little condo, One little condo
Who shouted with Bertha
Who kissed Mayor Bloomberg
Who empowered Marty
Who enabled Jim Stuckey
To take the condo
I renovated for 200 zuzim
One little condo, One little condo
To give in to the bullies
Who shouted with Bertha
Who kissed Mayor Bloomberg
Who empowered Marty
Who enabled Jim Stuckey
To take the condo
I renovated for 200 zuzim
One little condo, One little condo
Who directed the MTA
To give in to the bullies
Who shouted with Bertha
Who kissed Mayor Bloomberg
Who empowered Marty
Who enabled Jim Stuckey
To take the condo
I renovated for 200 zuzim
One little condo, One little condo
And said, “Fuggedaboutit, Bruce Ratner!!!”
Who owns Governor Pataki
Who directed the MTA
To give in to the bullies
Who shouted with Bertha
Who kissed Mayor Bloomberg
Who empowered Marty
Who enabled Jim Stuckey
To take the condo
I renovated for 200 zuzim
One little condo, One little condo